Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Alexander23/Male/United States Group :iconbright-and-colorful: Bright-And-Colorful
More than just rainbows!
Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 214 Deviations 31,910 Comments 88,527 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Yes by Daemonic-Fae Yes :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 2 2
Literature
Drugging Out Addiction
All these people telling me I have to get a grip,
and I got to to learn to let shit go.
Well, which is it?
Can you blame me for ambivalence when what you want is contradictory?
I fight it and I'm spited, I give in and they're delighted.
I say it isn't ALL my fault, that there were other factors.
They tell me it's that's irrelevant.
That context isn't useful and that blaming isn't helpful.
Can't determine why I do it so it must be cause I'm selfish.
I clearly did it to myself, I made it up on purpose.
I'm a narcissist for having needs, a selfish brat who won't bow knee.
They want me to call myself weak, acting like I can't ask for help.
I did a thousand times and they just say to help yourself,
or try to disempower me and act like it's to help.
They just want to bottle it up.
Blame me for getting help, blame me for helping myself.
For getting my own bottle, and my own shelf.
Saying it's not anyone's fault but acting like it's mine.
They say the problem's in my mind, they say I can't mak
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 0 2
Friend by Daemonic-Fae Friend :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 5 0 TONGUE by Daemonic-Fae TONGUE :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 7 0 S T O P by Daemonic-Fae S T O P :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 2
Mature content
What a loser :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 1 3
Literature
Kira
Kira, Kira, so unkind
Wonderful mind, wondrous spine
Lovely, buoyant, beautiful in design
Candy kisses off her lovely lips
Venomous hate woven betwixt
Cancerous, cantankerous, venomous
She smiles as she says such awful things
That lovely smile, that lovely thing.
She met to my face at long last of discussion
From a distance of dimensions, or doors
As maddening as that was, as far as face to face went;
Banter between us, one thing to another
But in my defense, who just joins in a shower?
Our lips did lock once to each other
My hands made their way to her legs,
As pretty as she, as pretty can be.
Upon the discovery, which had her most irate
Her lovely face distorted, her beauty dissipates
As my hands discovered calves as a calf
Her entire body morphed into anger, a scream, and a sudden pain hit me
Spun around by my cancerous, coppery, candy, down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground, shower still running in the background
The demoness gone, and yet
Those fists were definitely human.
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 2 2
Foxy by Daemonic-Fae Foxy :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 5 5 Me and Slugsworth by Daemonic-Fae Me and Slugsworth :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 6 Me by Daemonic-Fae Me :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 12
Literature
Vent Poem
It is a demon, or a thief
It takes all it can, it please
Your thought, desire, words, and speech
It can and will take anything
Awfully quick, awfully deft
Subsumes till nothing's left
Where was vivaciousness, a void
A visceral viciousness, a need to destroy
I fight and pray my soul to keep
I must retain my memories
My thought, my love, my who I am
So I must fight this thing again
I don't want to hurt anyone
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 2
She got a haircut by Daemonic-Fae She got a haircut :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 6 5 Backpacker by Daemonic-Fae Backpacker :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 9 12 Foxy got fat by Daemonic-Fae Foxy got fat :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 8 5 i have a cute dog by Daemonic-Fae i have a cute dog :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 16 32 Gator Girl by Daemonic-Fae Gator Girl :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 1 4

Random Favourites

Devil v. Angel by Junedays Devil v. Angel :iconjunedays:Junedays 299 24 Even in decay by Draakh Even in decay :icondraakh:Draakh 25 6 Demon of hell by derrickSong Demon of hell :iconderricksong:derrickSong 1,144 64 Draenei - Death Knight by TamplierPainter Draenei - Death Knight :icontamplierpainter:TamplierPainter 1,665 65 Wood nymph by NewmanD Wood nymph :iconnewmand:NewmanD 798 89 Exhaust by Amdhuscias Exhaust :iconamdhuscias:Amdhuscias 1,436 160 slit waking by ToolKitten
Mature content
slit waking :icontoolkitten:ToolKitten 1,416 56
Of Science and Magic by ArtDoge Of Science and Magic :iconartdoge:ArtDoge 17,274 1,442 Triumph of Ferocity by namesjames Triumph of Ferocity :iconnamesjames:namesjames 1,877 134 Pan by telthona Pan :icontelthona:telthona 1,361 102 Capricorn by Daenzar Capricorn :icondaenzar:Daenzar 121 11 Converging by IvanAndreevich Converging :iconivanandreevich:IvanAndreevich 4,810 278 Ryuu-Icon by Tsiki10 Ryuu-Icon :icontsiki10:Tsiki10 18 3

Friends

Watchers

Activity


Every time I try to talk to my step parent about anything he always brings the subject back to how terribly my mother treated him in a way that is pretty clear that he wants me to apologize for it. I mean, I treated him badly at the time too, but nowhere near as badly as she did. And she also treated me badly. She abused me too. Both of them did really, but he won't even admit to having done anything wrong. He always says, "that was the best I knew in the situation", but when I say the same thing, it's not acceptable? I was a child, and even then I know I did wrong, and I've apologized for it and fucking ADMITTED IT without trying to make anyone else feel guilty about it. It's so frustrating, but I can never bring myself to really cut off either of them. Why do I love torturing myself?
In order for my insurance to cover any kind of specialist, I need to get a referral from my family doctor. I require a lot of specialists. So far, every specialist she gave me wasn't covered by my insurance. One of them she outright told me to call my insurance about myself. That is her job. They seemed confused as to why I was doing it for her.

It would be more detrimental to wait another month to get into a new family doctor for these referrals than it would be to put up with this bullshit, unfortunately, so I have to deal with it. I'm probably going to spend even more time with insurance because my doctor apparently hates phone calls more than I do.

You would think their network would be organized by which insurance they do or don't accept. Like I kind of doubt this problem is only my specific doctor. But the thing is, I specifically told her that phone calls make me extremely anxious. Which makes my heart rate go up. My resting heart rate is already, in her opinion, too high. And she isn't wrong! She's just lazy and frustrating. :grump:

EDIT, 1 hour later: Another referral of hers called. They did not accept my insurance either. :v
My roommate went through an entire big thing of ranch dressing in less than a week... He eats these huge salads every day, but he SMOTHERS them in ranch.

He's trying to eat healthier, I know, but I'm not sure this is the way to do this...
  • Reading: some irish folktale book
  • Eating: Banana
  • Drinking: Pepsi
I apparently left the fridge open all night! Most of what I had in there's bad now. :saddummy: I really should be more careful...The damn thing doesn't close right half the time and I KNOW THIS. smh @ me
Every time I try to talk to my step parent about anything he always brings the subject back to how terribly my mother treated him in a way that is pretty clear that he wants me to apologize for it. I mean, I treated him badly at the time too, but nowhere near as badly as she did. And she also treated me badly. She abused me too. Both of them did really, but he won't even admit to having done anything wrong. He always says, "that was the best I knew in the situation", but when I say the same thing, it's not acceptable? I was a child, and even then I know I did wrong, and I've apologized for it and fucking ADMITTED IT without trying to make anyone else feel guilty about it. It's so frustrating, but I can never bring myself to really cut off either of them. Why do I love torturing myself?

Groups

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconvisualstripes:
VisualStripes Featured By Owner 4 days ago  New Deviant Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav! :-)
Reply
:iconnekophoenix:
nekophoenix Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Professional General Artist
Good lord! So many! Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconvampyreninjaken:
VampyreNinjaKen Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:!!! :meow:
Reply
:iconmaresasinclair:
MaresaSinclair Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2017
Thank you for the favourites! :iconnicedayplz:
Reply
:iconlight-he-arth:
Light-He-arth Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017
Happy Birthday.
Reply
:icondaemonic-fae:
Daemonic-Fae Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2017
Thank you c:
Reply
:iconlight-he-arth:
Light-He-arth Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2017
Welcome.
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleMeow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3:squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee:Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...SingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSinging:p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick)HugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHug;) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink)
Reply
:iconmorbidiadrekk:
MorbidiaDrekk Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017
Merry Birthmasween, dearlin'. :cake:
Reply
:icondaemonic-fae:
Daemonic-Fae Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017
Thanks :la:

Jeremy made a whole thing of brownies for me & I'm gonna get to hang out with some friends today! :la:
Reply
:iconmorbidiadrekk:
MorbidiaDrekk Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017
Sounds like a very merry birthmasween, indeed. :hug:
Reply
:icondaemonic-fae:
Daemonic-Fae Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2017
It was pretty cool c: Didn't get to hang with friends tho :noes: :hug:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icontrebornehoc:
TreborNehoc Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017   Photographer
thanks for the fave ~
Reply
:iconmaresasinclair:
MaresaSinclair Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017
Thank you so much for the favourites.  Much appreciated.
Reply
:iconsarahbeeillustration:
sarahbeeillustration Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017  New Deviant Professional General Artist
Thanks for the favorite! (:
Reply
:iconiriscup:
iriscup Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017
Tangerine Tree  Thank you for faving.Heart Tree
Reply
:iconmiguelam76:
miguelam76 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fav. :)
Reply
:iconliberthy:
Liberthy Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for the fav.
Reply
:iconphototubby:
Phototubby Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
:icondsfav1plz::icondsfav2plz::icondsfav3plz:  :)
Reply
:iconevlyev:
Evlyev Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for all the favs and the lama :D :hug:
Reply
:iconlividtoffee:
LividToffee Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the faves <3
Reply
:iconrandomnessofd:
RandomnessofD Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fave!
Reply
:icon7ix:
7ix Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2017  Student Photographer
Thank you so much for points!   
For me it is a great assistance and support in this hard period.. Heart
Reply
:iconinaauderieth:
InaAuderieth Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2017  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks a lot for the faves! :-)
Reply
:iconconstructio:
Constructio Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Merry Christmas, Alex! Sorry it's late!
Reply
:icondaemonic-fae:
Daemonic-Fae Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2016
Merry Christmas to you too :meow:

I forget should I just call you Isaiah or did you have like a nickname
Reply
Add a Comment: