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About Deviant Alexander22/Male/United States Group :iconbright-and-colorful: Bright-And-Colorful
More than just rainbows!
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Yes :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 2 2
Literature
Drugging Out Addiction
All these people telling me I have to get a grip,
and I got to to learn to let shit go.
Well, which is it?
Can you blame me for ambivalence when what you want is contradictory?
I fight it and I'm spited, I give in and they're delighted.
I say it isn't ALL my fault, that there were other factors.
They tell me it's that's irrelevant.
That context isn't useful and that blaming isn't helpful.
Can't determine why I do it so it must be cause I'm selfish.
I clearly did it to myself, I made it up on purpose.
I'm a narcissist for having needs, a selfish brat who won't bow knee.
They want me to call myself weak, acting like I can't ask for help.
I did a thousand times and they just say to help yourself,
or try to disempower me and act like it's to help.
They just want to bottle it up.
Blame me for getting help, blame me for helping myself.
For getting my own bottle, and my own shelf.
Saying it's not anyone's fault but acting like it's mine.
They say the problem's in my mind, they say I can't mak
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 0 2
Friend :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 5 0 TONGUE :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 8 0 S T O P :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 2
Mature content
What a loser :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 1 3
Literature
Kira
Kira, Kira, so unkind
Wonderful mind, wondrous spine
Lovely, buoyant, beautiful in design
Candy kisses off her lovely lips
Venomous hate woven betwixt
Cancerous, cantankerous, venomous
She smiles as she says such awful things
That lovely smile, that lovely thing.
She met to my face at long last of discussion
From a distance of dimensions, or doors
As maddening as that was, as far as face to face went;
Banter between us, one thing to another
But in my defense, who just joins in a shower?
Our lips did lock once to each other
My hands made their way to her legs,
As pretty as she, as pretty can be.
Upon the discovery, which had her most irate
Her lovely face distorted, her beauty dissipates
As my hands discovered calves as a calf
Her entire body morphed into anger, a scream, and a sudden pain hit me
Spun around by my cancerous, coppery, candy, down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground, shower still running in the background
The demoness gone, and yet
Those fists were definitely human.
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 2 2
Foxy :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 5 5 Me and Slugsworth :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 6 Me :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 12
Literature
Vent Poem
It is a demon, or a thief
It takes all it can, it please
Your thought, desire, words, and speech
It can and will take anything
Awfully quick, awfully deft
Subsumes till nothing's left
Where was vivaciousness, a void
A visceral viciousness, a need to destroy
I fight and pray my soul to keep
I must retain my memories
My thought, my love, my who I am
So I must fight this thing again
I don't want to hurt anyone
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 2
She got a haircut :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 6 5 Backpacker :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 9 12 Foxy got fat :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 8 5 i have a cute dog :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 16 32 Gator Girl :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 1 4

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In order for my insurance to cover any kind of specialist, I need to get a referral from my family doctor. I require a lot of specialists. So far, every specialist she gave me wasn't covered by my insurance. One of them she outright told me to call my insurance about myself. That is her job. They seemed confused as to why I was doing it for her.

It would be more detrimental to wait another month to get into a new family doctor for these referrals than it would be to put up with this bullshit, unfortunately, so I have to deal with it. I'm probably going to spend even more time with insurance because my doctor apparently hates phone calls more than I do.

You would think their network would be organized by which insurance they do or don't accept. Like I kind of doubt this problem is only my specific doctor. But the thing is, I specifically told her that phone calls make me extremely anxious. Which makes my heart rate go up. My resting heart rate is already, in her opinion, too high. And she isn't wrong! She's just lazy and frustrating. :grump:

EDIT, 1 hour later: Another referral of hers called. They did not accept my insurance either. :v
My roommate went through an entire big thing of ranch dressing in less than a week... He eats these huge salads every day, but he SMOTHERS them in ranch.

He's trying to eat healthier, I know, but I'm not sure this is the way to do this...
  • Reading: some irish folktale book
  • Eating: Banana
  • Drinking: Pepsi
I apparently left the fridge open all night! Most of what I had in there's bad now. :saddummy: I really should be more careful...The damn thing doesn't close right half the time and I KNOW THIS. smh @ me
ONE - Spell your name without vowels: lxndr
TWO - Are you single?:  Nawp.
THREE - Whats your favorite number?: 5
FOUR - What color do you wear most?: Black and green
FIVE - Least favorite color?: Brownish-yellow
SIX - Favorite candy?: Dark chocolate with almonds
SEVEN - What do you smoke?: Not tobacco
EIGHT - Are you happy with your life right now?: It could be worse I guess.
NINE - Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity?: No.
TEN - What is your favorite class in school?: I'm not in school. Used to be English.
TWELVE - How do you make money?: Social security mostly. Occasionally odd jobs or selling things, and some online survey sites.
THIRTEEN - Who is your best friend?: Not sure I have one rn.
FOURTEEN - Where do you go to school?: Nowhere.
FIFTEEN - Are you outgoing?: Not usually.
SIXTEEN - One word to describe you?: Willful.
SEVENTEEN - Favorite pair of shoes?: I only have one...
EIGHTEEN - Do you own big sunglasses?: No.
NINETEEN - Where do you wish you were right now?: I wish the zoo was open. But it's February and at night, lol.
TWENTY - What should you be doing right now?: Cleaning.
TWENTY ONE - Do you have a crush on anyone right now?: Not really.

HONEST SECTION:
Honestly, what's on your mind right now?: 
Brewdis is sick. :saddummy:
Honestly, what are you doing right now?: This.
Honestly, have you done something bad today?: Got shittier with Jeremy than was probably necessary about cleaning dog sick.
Honestly, do you watch Disney Channel?,: Only when I'm in the hospital, usually. I barely recognize anything they play now so it's something newish usually.
Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?: Doctor's office.
Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?: Not really.
Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?: People asking me to do things then either complaining about how I do it or just straight up not appreciating it.
Honestly, do you bite your nails?: Sometimes.
Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?: No one specific really.
Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?: Nope.
Honestly, do you have a friend you don't actually like?: No. If I don't like someone, I stop being their friend. lol


THE CANS:
Can you blow a bubble?:
 Yup.
Can you dance?: Not really lol
Can you do a cart wheel?: I haven't tried in a while actually... Probably?
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: NOPE
Can you whistle?: Sort of.
Can you wiggle your ears?: No.
Can you wiggle your nose?: ...Can people not move their nose or something?
Can you roll your tongue?: Yup.
Can you make a clover with your tongue?: Yea



ANGER SECTION:
What do you do when you're mad?: 
Complain incessantly on the internet, usually. Or argue with whoever made me mad.
What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?: Threatened to burn down my grandmother's house. I've gotten in a few fights, too... Once in a fight with my mom (she started the physical part) I hit her back to get her off of me... She has a bad back. :saddummy:
Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: A few times.

CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out?: 
Yes.
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Yes. Lots of times.
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: Not like, literally...
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Yep.
Ever cried over the same sex?: Yes.
Do you cry when you get an injury?: Not usually. It's happened a few times though.
Do certain songs make you cry?: Yeah sometimes.
Do certain movies make you cry?: A couple do.

HAPPY SECTION:
Are you usually a happy person?: 
I wouldn't say so. I try to make the best of things, though. It's getting better, slowly.
What makes you the happiest?: Depends on my mood. Learning cool things, playing games, playing with animals, going on a nice walk... Or spending time with friends/family.
Does being with your friends make you happy?: Yeah usually.
Do you believe in yourself?: Sometimes.
Do you wish you were happier?: Yeah. I try to focus more on doing things to be happy. Just thinking about how miserable I am or was is rarely helpful for more than a few minutes at a time...
Is being happy overrated?: No? That sounds like a pretty depressing mindset :lol:
Can music make you happy?: Sometimes. It's one of my usual coping methods, but sometimes I just want quiet.

LOVE SECTION:
How many times have you had your heart broken?: 
I wouldn't really consider anything that's happened so far "heartbroken". Then again, I don't let people that close easily... Probably not conductive for good relationships, but oh well.
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?: No.
Has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'I love you'?: Some people who barely know me have said it. Or who didn't know me. Some people really confuse me...


HATE SECTION:
Do you actually hate anyone?: 
Yes.
Have you ever been on a hit list?: Not that I'm aware of. I sure hope not.
Are you a mean bully?: I can be pretty mean but I try to not be lol.
Do you hate George Bush?: Didn't care for what he did.

SELF ESTEEM SECTION:
Is your self-esteem extremely low?: 
It kind of fluctuates lol
Do you think you're good looking?: Yeah. Not like super-model material, but I get enough compliments. I don't really have any idea of that sort of thing myself though, really.
Do you wish you could be someone else?: Not really.

LOOK AT ME:
What is your current hair color?: 
Roots are dark blonde, the rest is parts blue, pinkish, reddish, gray, purplish, and platinum blonde. I might re-do it soonish... It's starting to look a little odd.
What is your eye color?: Blue/gray
What is your skin tone?: About two or three shades above albino.
Current piercings?: None.
Have any tattoos?: No.
Straight hair or curly?: Straight.

CURRENTLY WEARING:
What shirt are you wearing?: 
Black/brown/green/white skull shirt.
Necklace(s)?: No.
Shoes?: No.


HAVE YOU EVER:
Hugged someone?: Yes.
Been on the phone until the sun came up?: No.
Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: Fortunately no.
Laughed so hard you cried?: Yeah
Got in a fight with someone?: Yup.


THE LAST:
Person you talked to in person? 
Jeremy.
Person you talked to online?: A friend I recently met.
Person you hugged?: Jeremy.

RANDOM:
Do you like surveys?: 
Yeah sometimes.
Do you get along with your parents?: Sometimes. More as friends than parent/child, honestly. I don't take well to being told what to do lmao.
Do you have mental breakdowns?: Yeah that happens every couple of years or so. It usually motivates some change at least.

CURRENT:
Current mood:
Bored.
Current music:  Everything Everything - Spring / Sun / Winter / Dread
Current hair style: Longish and to the front.
Current crush: Do people I'm dating count?
Current thing I ought to be doing: CLEANING.
Current windows open: Youtube, dA notifications, this, "26 people reveal the shocking reason their ex became their Crazy Ex"
Current desktop picture: One of the default Windows blue things

THE DIDS:
Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?: 
Yeah a few times. (Hey, I didn't start 'em.)
Did you ever run away from home?: Not for very long. I usually just went to Grandma's if it was more than a day, and she'd call mom.
Did you ever want to be a doctor?: Not particularly.
Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?: No.

THE DO'S:
Do you know how to swim?: 
Not very well.
Do you like roller coasters?: Yeah. I haven't been on any really big ones but the one I've been on was fun!
Do you own a bike?: Not currently. I might get another at some point if I ever get enough cash together, but it's not a super high priority.
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: NOPE lol

THE DOES
Does hair loss run in your family at all?: 
On my mother's side, yeah. Not my father's.
Does your car get good gas mileage?: I don't have one of my own.
Does your family have family picnics?: Nope. I wish though!

THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: 
Not that I remember. Apparently as a baby.
Have you ever been to the ocean?: Apparently when I was pretty little. Don't remember it though.
Have you ever painted your nails?: Yeah. Used to all the time, all sorts of colors.

THE HOWS:
How tall are you?: 
5'5
How much money do you have on you right now?: Less than 5 bucks and it's all in change lmao

THE LASTS:
Last person you hung out with?:
 Jeremy
Last thing someone said to you?: "Go away"
Last thing you said out loud?: "Goodnight"


THE WHATS:
What are you listening to?: 
Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know?
What is the weather outside?: Kind of foggy, a bit warm.
What radio station do you listen to?: I don't usually pick.
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: Steak N Shake
What was the last thing you had to drink?: Pepsi
What was the last movie you watched?: Also Zootopia.
  • Reading: some irish folktale book
  • Playing: Pokemon X
  • Eating: Banana Nut Muffin!
  • Drinking: Pepsi
My roommate went through an entire big thing of ranch dressing in less than a week... He eats these huge salads every day, but he SMOTHERS them in ranch.

He's trying to eat healthier, I know, but I'm not sure this is the way to do this...
  • Reading: some irish folktale book
  • Eating: Banana
  • Drinking: Pepsi

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:iconsarahbeeillustration:
sarahbeeillustration Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New Deviant Professional General Artist
Thanks for the favorite! (:
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:iconiriscup:
iriscup Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Tangerine Tree  Thank you for faving.Heart Tree
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:iconmiguelam76:
miguelam76 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fav. :)
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:iconliberthy:
Liberthy Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for the fav.
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:iconphototubby:
Phototubby Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
:icondsfav1plz::icondsfav2plz::icondsfav3plz:  :)
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:iconevlyev:
Evlyev Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for all the favs and the lama :D :hug:
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:iconlividtoffee:
LividToffee Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the faves <3
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:iconrandomnessofd:
RandomnessofD Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fave!
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:icon7ix:
7ix Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2017  Student Photographer
Thank you so much for points!   
For me it is a great assistance and support in this hard period.. Heart
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:iconinaauderieth:
InaAuderieth Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2017  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks a lot for the faves! :-)
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:iconconstructio:
Constructio Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Merry Christmas, Alex! Sorry it's late!
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:icondaemonic-fae:
Daemonic-Fae Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2016
Merry Christmas to you too :meow:

I forget should I just call you Isaiah or did you have like a nickname
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:iconconstructio:
Constructio Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
*shrugs* I don't have a nickname so you can call me Isaiah
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:icondaemonic-fae:
Daemonic-Fae Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2016
How about
Isa
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(1 Reply)
:iconmiguelam76:
miguelam76 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fav, much appreciated. :)
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:iconshahrzadmadi:
shahrzadmadi Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016  Professional Traditional Artist
thanks for the fav:tighthug:
and if you have FB please like my page--->www.facebook.com/ShahrzadMadii…
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:iconatelierc:
AtelierC Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the favMisc Emoji-11 (Stars) [V1] 
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:iconnunopires:
NunoPires Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2016   Photographer
Hi Alexander :wave: How are you?

:iconcheerplz: :iconvicing001::iconvicing002::iconvicing003: :iconcheerplz:


Have a nice week! :dummy:

:manhug:
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:iconjineda13:
Jineda13 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for your llamaLa la la la I'm collecting them tehehehLlama Emoji-21 (Speechless) [V1]

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:iconnahualita:
nahualita Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2016  Student General Artist
Thanks for the faves <3
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:iconvicle-chan:
Vicle-chan Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the watch! :iconasdfghbeeplz: 
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:iconelinewton:
Elinewton Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2016
Hey!! Thanks for the Llama!! ^^
Get one back!! XD
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:iconreplicantecustom:
ReplicanteCustom Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2016  Student Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the llama, cheers :D
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:iconwilson-dontstarve:
Wilson-DontStarve Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2016
Don't Starve Wilson wave icon Thanks 4 the llama ~
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:iconavatenia:
Avatenia Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016
thank you for the watch!!
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