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More than just rainbows!
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Literature
Delete Yourself
through anxiolytics and anesthetics
i continue being analytic
if only to be magnanimous
and even if deleterious
i shall destroy fear
as nothing else has made me quite so dangerous
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 1 1
Literature
Meeting Kaleidoscope
I was alone washing up in my soul sister's tub,
when all of a sudden... I sensed things!
I looked to my side in a startled surprise,
A shadow! An imp! Yes, a demon!
Eight feet if an inch when hunched over, bent.
Her tall, gangly form's quite a miserable mist.
Black as night, fur all over,
she had long sharp claws, had a maw like a turtle!
Her eyes looked blank, white,
and to end the descriptor, her shadow's packed tight.
Well anyway, she appears suddenly, and I hiss.
I asked her, "What gives? Heard of privacy, miss?
You can't just barge in when I'm washing!"
She snaps quickly, pissed off,
and then starts screaming, going on,
"Get up! Out! Go on!
I want both of you to leaving immediately."
I knew not who she was, nor where she appeared from.
I asked her, "Why?" She said, "Because...
You have brought my house terrible danger."
As she towers over me, I sat before her, trembling, saying,
"You're being rude, you know.
There's a reason I'm alone!
You can see here that I'm naked!
So, hey, you
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 0 0
Yes by Daemonic-Fae Yes :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 2 2
Literature
Drugging Out Addiction
All these people telling me I have to get a grip,
and I got to to learn to let shit go.
Well, which is it?
Can you blame me for ambivalence when what you want is contradictory?
I fight it and I'm spited, I give in and they're delighted.
I say it isn't ALL my fault, that there were other factors.
They tell me it's that's irrelevant.
That context isn't useful and that blaming isn't helpful.
Can't determine why I do it so it must be cause I'm selfish.
I clearly did it to myself, I made it up on purpose.
I'm a narcissist for having needs, a selfish brat who won't bow knee.
They want me to call myself weak, acting like I can't ask for help.
I did a thousand times and they just say to help yourself,
or try to disempower me and act like it's to help.
They just want to bottle it up.
Blame me for getting help, blame me for helping myself.
For getting my own bottle, and my own shelf.
Saying it's not anyone's fault but acting like it's mine.
They say the problem's in my mind, they say I can't mak
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 0 2
Friend by Daemonic-Fae Friend :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 5 0 TONGUE by Daemonic-Fae TONGUE :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 7 0 S T O P by Daemonic-Fae S T O P :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 2
Mature content
What a loser :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 1 3
Literature
Kira
Kira, Kira, so unkind
Wonderful mind, wondrous spine
Lovely, buoyant, beautiful in design
Candy kisses off her lovely lips
Venomous hate woven betwixt
Cancerous, cantankerous, venomous
She smiles as she says such awful things
That lovely smile, that lovely thing.
She met to my face at long last of discussion
From a distance of dimensions, or doors
As maddening as that was, as far as face to face went;
Banter between us, one thing to another
But in my defense, who just joins in a shower?
Our lips did lock once to each other
My hands made their way to her legs,
As pretty as she, as pretty can be.
Upon the discovery, which had her most irate
Her lovely face distorted, her beauty dissipates
As my hands discovered calves as a calf
Her entire body morphed into anger, a scream, and a sudden pain hit me
Spun around by my cancerous, coppery, candy, down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground, shower still running in the background
The demoness gone, and yet
Those fists were definitely human.
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 2 2
Foxy by Daemonic-Fae Foxy :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 5 5 Me and Slugsworth by Daemonic-Fae Me and Slugsworth :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 6 Me by Daemonic-Fae Me :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 12
Literature
Vent Poem
It is a demon, or a thief
It takes all it can, it please
Your thought, desire, words, and speech
It can and will take anything
Awfully quick, awfully deft
Subsumes till nothing's left
Where was vivaciousness, a void
A visceral viciousness, a need to destroy
I fight and pray my soul to keep
I must retain my memories
My thought, my love, my who I am
So I must fight this thing again
I don't want to hurt anyone
:iconDaemonic-Fae:Daemonic-Fae
:icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 3 2
She got a haircut by Daemonic-Fae She got a haircut :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 6 5 Backpacker by Daemonic-Fae Backpacker :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 8 12 Foxy got fat by Daemonic-Fae Foxy got fat :icondaemonic-fae:Daemonic-Fae 8 5

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through anxiolytics and anesthetics
i continue being analytic
if only to be magnanimous
and even if deleterious
i shall destroy fear
as nothing else has made me quite so dangerous
I ended up getting into shit with Jeremy. I bought the dude a Gatorade once and he tells the food stamp office we were sharing funds so they cut off my food stamps and increased his. :grump: So we get into it and basically a couple days later I decide, fuck him, I'd rather live NOWHERE.

I mean this wasn't the only thing we got into it over. The dude never cleaned unless he wanted to have one of his fuck buddies over, which wasn't very often. So I was doing most of the cleaning. I couldn't always do it because I get sick a lot so he was going on about how he thinks I can't take care of myself, which is extra ridiculous because I cleaned more than him, like the dude will live in filth and not care if you let him. He'd say the same shit if I asked him to make food when I didn't feel good or was sick, which is funny cause I cooked for him a few times when his dumbass had low blood sugar or felt extra shit and like, couldn't get to the kitchen, which was about as often. He'd also add that like, I can't drive, then refuse to drive me until I get psych meds for the like, half dozen mental problems he "diagnosed" me with. Like, dude, you're qualified to diagnose people, technically, yes, but you take things out of context or just plain misinterpret things I say, and you literally cannot read non-verbal cues at all probably affects that shit,, iunno man. :shrug:

He also wouldn't even take the dog out to piss when he wasn't feeling good, which was USUALLY. So I would, unless I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed, which did happen a few times since it's still taking them forever to get insurance to approve my Humira. So I'd be recovering from a flare-up and come back down to the place being covered in piss and shit. :grump: Then he'd say I can't take care of myself because I can't take care of his dog. Like I really think he was projecting, honestly, but still.

So I ended up staying at this shelter for a couple weeks and the place was weird. During the day you like can't stay in the bed area so there'd always be like a dozen people no matter where you went in the building, so usually I'd just like, fuck off all day and wander around town. But like AT THE PLACE, people were selling individual cigarettes that they rolled themselves and like, a dozen people asked if I did heroin. Two offered to get me some... Apparently I look like I do heroin, I guess, but the point is like that's kinda fucked up. :lmao: Oh, and a couple guys offered me money to fuck them, which, uh, no. :stare: Eventually someone figured out or just made something up (idk if they actually saw anything) saying I was trans and like going to dope houses (that is definitely not true) and that I was fucking some dude in a forest (??? NO ???) Someone at some point took a picture of me and like put it on Craigslist there saying I was whoring myself. After I found that (I actually do look around that site sometimes) I decided to like, leave, at that point.

Most of the guys there were actually pretty okay even with the weird ass environment and all that shit, but like, I don't wanna stick around there with at least one person doing shit like that, and it was escalating, so. I called up my family and they got me a Greyhound back to Indiana... I've been staying in a motel for the most part with no internet but now I'm staying with someone else WITH internet and soon I'll at least have a place here with my Mom until I get a more permanent place in Ohio. So that issue's getting solved! :la:

Even with all those issues though I disliked staying in a fucking shelter less than I disliked staying with Jeremy. That's gotta say something.
  • Listening to: TV
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper
I was alone washing up in my soul sister's tub,
when all of a sudden... I sensed things!
I looked to my side in a startled surprise,
A shadow! An imp! Yes, a demon!

Eight feet if an inch when hunched over, bent.
Her tall, gangly form's quite a miserable mist.
Black as night, fur all over,
she had long sharp claws, had a maw like a turtle!
Her eyes looked blank, white,
and to end the descriptor, her shadow's packed tight.

Well anyway, she appears suddenly, and I hiss.
I asked her, "What gives? Heard of privacy, miss?
You can't just barge in when I'm washing!"
She snaps quickly, pissed off,
and then starts screaming, going on,
"Get up! Out! Go on!
I want both of you to leaving immediately."
I knew not who she was, nor where she appeared from.
I asked her, "Why?" She said, "Because...
You have brought my house terrible danger."

As she towers over me, I sat before her, trembling, saying,
"You're being rude, you know.
There's a reason I'm alone!
You can see here that I'm naked!
So, hey, you, go off! Who do you think you are?
Nagging me, going on, and you're watching me while I'm bathing!"

Angry and distraught, she continues going off.
Her form shifts, contstricts, combusts.
She displayed much displeasure, she continued in a rush.
"I don't like your... Associate... Being here.
I know you know how he is, he's said what he intends.
I know him as threat, and child, I'm telling you, REPENT!
Remove him! Take him! GET!"

I then ask her, "Why?" glancing up with some ire, watched her shake her head, sigh.
Then lowering further before me, she gazed down, glared, and surmised,
"My role here's a long story. But you know he's predatory!
Though you only see the glory, he's hideous. He's horrid!
He's not remotely sorry for a damn thing that he's started,
what he's done, what he's said, or has become, so I behest...
Please get him out before he destroys things."

I asked what she meant, so over me she leant.
Then so suddenly a fear quite enormous, heartstopping, repulsive,
Quite nearly consumes me completely.
Her voice then goes low. It goes viscious, goes rough,
Dripping blood, dripping, hushed.
"You can trick yourself, you idiot, whelp,
but you cannot deny it's the truth.
He wants the child, as his own to defile.
I know for a fact he has told you."

So I told her "He wasn't serious,
Fuck off!", with a glare and a scoff.
She then opted to not keep up warning.
Her voice shrill yet sonorous, ornery and ominous,
thinking herself above us, she boomed,
"Don't let yourself lie, keeping wool over your eyes,
you must bring forth your own decision.
You may ignore my warning of his lecherous burning,
But I shall not be so forgiving."

With brutal derision and painful precision,
she brought forth with her claws a gross, visceral vision.
Swiftly I fell to this child of Hell, clutching my guts back inside me.
Then she was gone! I look up in awe, don't see guts, gore, or blood.
And don't see her, that's sure a plus.
Still feel pain. Don't see what I'd felt, but still sense something's odd.
I threw up, doubled up, keeling over.
I hope sorely that's the last I see of her.
Meeting Kaleidoscope
This is, of course, dramatized. Not exact words, I did not actually vomit, etc. It's worth noting that I had an ileostomy at the time, so she just sorta. Yanked it, actually. :lol: Also, visceral is one of my favorite words, I try to use it A Lot.

I did not want to admit how he was at the time. Later on they had a doctor look to see if he'd done anything and from their investigation they deemed "probably not". I actually feel really terrible about not even admitting to myself, much less telling them about, how he was "joking". I mostly realized it later that he was serious because he tried to convince me to have daughters for him so he could rape them... I ended up staying around and just acting really crazy to try to get him to dump me, because I was afraid he'd stalk me or some shit. That eventually did work, so. Yeah.
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Every time I try to talk to my step parent about anything he always brings the subject back to how terribly my mother treated him in a way that is pretty clear that he wants me to apologize for it. I mean, I treated him badly at the time too, but nowhere near as badly as she did. And she also treated me badly. She abused me too. Both of them did really, but he won't even admit to having done anything wrong. He always says, "that was the best I knew in the situation", but when I say the same thing, it's not acceptable? I was a child, and even then I know I did wrong, and I've apologized for it and fucking ADMITTED IT without trying to make anyone else feel guilty about it. It's so frustrating, but I can never bring myself to really cut off either of them. Why do I love torturing myself?
I ended up getting into shit with Jeremy. I bought the dude a Gatorade once and he tells the food stamp office we were sharing funds so they cut off my food stamps and increased his. :grump: So we get into it and basically a couple days later I decide, fuck him, I'd rather live NOWHERE.

I mean this wasn't the only thing we got into it over. The dude never cleaned unless he wanted to have one of his fuck buddies over, which wasn't very often. So I was doing most of the cleaning. I couldn't always do it because I get sick a lot so he was going on about how he thinks I can't take care of myself, which is extra ridiculous because I cleaned more than him, like the dude will live in filth and not care if you let him. He'd say the same shit if I asked him to make food when I didn't feel good or was sick, which is funny cause I cooked for him a few times when his dumbass had low blood sugar or felt extra shit and like, couldn't get to the kitchen, which was about as often. He'd also add that like, I can't drive, then refuse to drive me until I get psych meds for the like, half dozen mental problems he "diagnosed" me with. Like, dude, you're qualified to diagnose people, technically, yes, but you take things out of context or just plain misinterpret things I say, and you literally cannot read non-verbal cues at all probably affects that shit,, iunno man. :shrug:

He also wouldn't even take the dog out to piss when he wasn't feeling good, which was USUALLY. So I would, unless I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed, which did happen a few times since it's still taking them forever to get insurance to approve my Humira. So I'd be recovering from a flare-up and come back down to the place being covered in piss and shit. :grump: Then he'd say I can't take care of myself because I can't take care of his dog. Like I really think he was projecting, honestly, but still.

So I ended up staying at this shelter for a couple weeks and the place was weird. During the day you like can't stay in the bed area so there'd always be like a dozen people no matter where you went in the building, so usually I'd just like, fuck off all day and wander around town. But like AT THE PLACE, people were selling individual cigarettes that they rolled themselves and like, a dozen people asked if I did heroin. Two offered to get me some... Apparently I look like I do heroin, I guess, but the point is like that's kinda fucked up. :lmao: Oh, and a couple guys offered me money to fuck them, which, uh, no. :stare: Eventually someone figured out or just made something up (idk if they actually saw anything) saying I was trans and like going to dope houses (that is definitely not true) and that I was fucking some dude in a forest (??? NO ???) Someone at some point took a picture of me and like put it on Craigslist there saying I was whoring myself. After I found that (I actually do look around that site sometimes) I decided to like, leave, at that point.

Most of the guys there were actually pretty okay even with the weird ass environment and all that shit, but like, I don't wanna stick around there with at least one person doing shit like that, and it was escalating, so. I called up my family and they got me a Greyhound back to Indiana... I've been staying in a motel for the most part with no internet but now I'm staying with someone else WITH internet and soon I'll at least have a place here with my Mom until I get a more permanent place in Ohio. So that issue's getting solved! :la:

Even with all those issues though I disliked staying in a fucking shelter less than I disliked staying with Jeremy. That's gotta say something.
  • Listening to: TV
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper

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:icondayserosi:
DayseRosi Featured By Owner May 29, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fave :iconmeowkittythanksplz: and watch :+devwatch:
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:iconshadoweddancer:
Shadoweddancer Featured By Owner May 21, 2017   General Artist
Thank you for the watch and the faves! :heart:
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:iconvisualstripes:
VisualStripes Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav! :-)
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:iconnekophoenix:
nekophoenix Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2017  Professional General Artist
Good lord! So many! Thank you so much!
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VampyreNinjaKen Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:!!! :meow:
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MaresaSinclair Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2017
Thank you for the favourites! :iconnicedayplz:
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Light-He-arth Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017
Happy Birthday.
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:icondaemonic-fae:
Daemonic-Fae Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2017
Thank you c:
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:iconlight-he-arth:
Light-He-arth Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2017
Welcome.
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleGiggleMeow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3Meow :3:squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee:Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Dance!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...Ohm... Ohm...SingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSingingSinging:p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick):p (Lick)HugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHug;) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink);) (Wink)
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:iconmorbidiadrekk:
MorbidiaDrekk Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017
Merry Birthmasween, dearlin'. :cake:
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:icondaemonic-fae:
Daemonic-Fae Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017
Thanks :la:

Jeremy made a whole thing of brownies for me & I'm gonna get to hang out with some friends today! :la:
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:iconmorbidiadrekk:
MorbidiaDrekk Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017
Sounds like a very merry birthmasween, indeed. :hug:
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:icondaemonic-fae:
Daemonic-Fae Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2017
It was pretty cool c: Didn't get to hang with friends tho :noes: :hug:
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:icontrebornehoc:
TreborNehoc Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017   Photographer
thanks for the fave ~
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MaresaSinclair Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017
Thank you so much for the favourites.  Much appreciated.
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sarahbeeillustration Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the favorite! (:
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iriscup Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017
Tangerine Tree  Thank you for faving.Heart Tree
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miguelam76 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fav. :)
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Liberthy Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for the fav.
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Phototubby Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
:icondsfav1plz::icondsfav2plz::icondsfav3plz:  :)
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Evlyev Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for all the favs and the lama :D :hug:
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LividToffee Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the faves <3
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Thank you for the fave!
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7ix Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2017  Student Photographer
Thank you so much for points!   
For me it is a great assistance and support in this hard period.. Heart
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Thanks a lot for the faves! :-)
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